PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—The financially floundering New York Mets have announced that they are sending struggling left-hander Oliver Perez to the bullpen in order to collect items for a yard sale they’re holding this weekend. “Just look around and see if there’s any crap out there we can sell,” general manager Sandy Alderson told Perez on Wednesday afternoon. “Old balls, maybe an extra glove or two, whatever you find will help.”

Perez has failed to live up to his 3 year/$36 million contract the past two seasons and after posting a 9.00 ERA this spring, Mets management has decided Perez is best suited to be in the bullpen rummaging for anything that can help take a chunk out of their reported $375 million debt. According to Alderson, the move is already paying dividends. “He found Jason Bay’s bat, which is great. We paid like $66 million for that last year and it was barely used. So hopefully that brings in some cash.”