Your Neighborhood’s Pumpkins

Monday, October 31, 2011
Posted By admin 07:34 PM

The Premature: Don’t blame her over exuberance for the pile of mush rotting on the porch. Blame Starbucks for promoting Pumpkin Spice Latte’s in June.


The CGI: Forget a serrated knife. Forget a giant spoon. If you fancy yourself a Halloween artist, your only tool is a $1500 CO2 Laser Engraver.


Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot: What your five year old lacks in artistic vision she makes up for in not having stabbed herself.

The Desperate Dad: Administrative Managing may pay the bills but it also killed Dad’s dream of being a improvisational water painter. Needless to say Halloween is a big night for his creative confidence.

The Non Conformist: They aren’t carved because everyone carves and they aren’t pumpkins because pumpkins have so been done before. They’re gourds, and they’re wearing ascots.


The World is a Vampire: The little pisser screaming anarchy and smashing pumpkins is the same kid who will be home at 9 on the dot or else lose his American Idol privileges.