The fact that I can no longer watch a highlight like this without hearing Chris Berman’s “Whoop!” sickens me. The man has reduced football analysis to onomatopoeia and leather and for that I hate him. He's not a commentator. He's a clarinet solo: pointless, piercing and somehow still around.

Honestly, it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even enjoy the spectacular anymore. Jerome Simpson flips with the beauty of jazz and all I hear is future Chris Berman breaking down the play with his vapid boom, pop, pow. ESPN must pay him in stamps, or maybe he’s got dirt on some higher up. Otherwise, his career is completely inexplicable.