America's Youngest Genius Really Has to Poop

Monday, May 14, 2012
Posted By Fudge 07:00 PM

Emmelyn Rottger has a bright future ahead of her. At the age of 3 she already has an IQ of 135 and is the youngest member of Mensa. She is literally a genius. But none of that is of any concern to her at this particular moment because she really has to poop. Like REALLY bad.

I can't often relate to a 3 year old, much less one who is smarter than I am, but on this particular issue, we all understand what she is going through. Having to poop when there is not a bathroom within reach is right next to drowning as the most stressful and helpless situation a person can experience. In that excruciating moment, all your thoughts and primal instincts are devoted to escaping the pain, and nothing, not social decorum nor Natalie Morales peppering you with astronomy questions on the Today Show, will deter you from finding sweet release. 

So don't feel bad Emmelyn. We've all been there. Maybe not on national TV, but either on a long car ride or during a job interview or at a TJ Maxx. So chin up kiddo, you're still a genius, unlike your dickhead parents who wouldn't let you go to the bathroom and unlike the rest of us idiots who almost crapped themselves in a discount department store that one time. 

[H/T VideoGum]

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